22

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Have you ever think that you want to go back into a child when life was so much easier than your present life as an adult? Well, I think everyone had. Me either. But I never regret of my adulthood and letting go those happy phases. I'm happy being an adult.

I'm happy because I can make my own decision. I'm happy because I can go wherever I want, even go to the club and get drunk. I'm happy because I can shop whatever I want with my own money and I'm happy with anything that I can do by my self since I become an adult. And do I have reason for not being happy? I should say NO. I'm 22, graduated, have amazing parents that pour me so much loves and attentions, and have a great job in the situation when a fresh-graduated person like me is hard to have a professional job with a great salary.

But lately I've been thinking about those things. I'm feeling fine but in the other side I'm feeling empty. As I'm working now, I feel friendless. I spend 14 hours of my day in my workplace which a lot of rules and policies are made there. I got 2 days off in a week but I always spend them for sleep because my body is dead tired. Sometimes my job giving me pressure and it makes me stressful and I my mental is tired too. I know I need some rest and I need to take a break. But it's always impossible because my job needs me like a human need an oxygen.

And slowly I'm loosing my life. 

I have no time, even for my self. Weeks ago my highschool best friend sent me her wedding invitation. It's July and I cannot come. I asked for some furlough but it's rejected. And as I told my best friend that I can't make it, she feels disappointed. Also my other best friends who will attend her wedding are feeling disappointed for my absence. 

Sometimes I feel it kills me. The job that I want give me a lot of thing but also makes me loosing a lot of things too. I loose my time with my friend. I loose my time with my self too. Sometimes I can't make a phone call to my parents in my hometown because I came home late. And I lost my time with them too.

And lately, a lot of question pop up in my mind.

Is this still the right path?

Should I stay or should I go?